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stop setting goals

Writer's picture: Andy ArnoldAndy Arnold

If you want to succeed this year, stop setting goals. There… I said it. More importantly, I stand by it.


Today is the last day of January and we're well past "Quitter's Day." February is less than 24 hours away and the carcasses of dead or dying good intentions are all over. I won't bore you with the statistical research surrounding New Year's resolutions, but it is interesting if you get the itch to do some digging on your own. More than likely, you've already seen it discussed somewhere as this is a common topic in the coaching industry this time of year.


There's the anecdotal evidence, too. The crowd at my gym has thinned out significantly since the first week of the year. The aisle containing Valentine's candy at my local Smith's is fairly picked over already. I see that most of the promotional sales on gym memberships, supplements, and exercise equipment are over (only to have been replaced by tax-filing deals).


Many articles, blogs, podcasts, and posts have been made in the last four weeks covering the topic of how to achieve whatever end state that people fixate on during the New Year's quest for self-improvement.


Various goal-setting techniques and phraseologies have been emphasized to get away from the "new year, new me resolution" approach. I can find no evidence to support that any of that is more impactful than the problem it's trying to solve.


That's because applying goal setting to transformational change is like trying to hammer in a nail with a measuring tape. It's the wrong tool and technique. The truth of the matter is goals do not change the inner values or priorities of a person. True change requires an identity shift.


Although this concept is applicable across all genres, let's take a look at it through a common garden variety example for a goal this time of year: weight loss. Say I set a goal to lose 20 pounds. Once I achieve that weight, what next?


What most commonly happens is… nothing. This is because the goal of losing 20 pounds did nothing to fundamentally change my identity. Statistically, I'll gradually gain the weight back as there has been no permanent lasting change in my nutritional or fitness habits.


This is also illustrated in the "challenge" model. I have a client who identified health and fitness as an area to focus on in her personal development plan. One accomplishment she chose to achieve was a 100-day exercise challenge. There's absolutely nothing wrong with working out for one hundred days straight. In fact, it's admirable.


The issue became clear when I asked her, "What happens after the 100 days?" When the answer is, "I don't know,” it provides insight into the point of this blog. Goals can be used as a tool in your life, but will not provide the lasting change you seek unless YOU change.


Why participate in "dry January" if you plan on excessively drinking the other eleven months of the year? No change in identity occurs from thirty-one days of forced deprivation. Similarly, nothing a


New Year's Eve on the Vegas Strip...thousands gathered to ring in 2025. Many of those people had high hopes for this being the year they FINALLY achieved their goals. By this point, most have failed.
Las Vegas Blvd. 26 seconds before the start of 2025.

bout you is different when the calendar changes from one day, one month, one year to the next. The change is constructed.


When people set a goal, what they are really trying to articulate is a desire to change their identity. Our identities and personalities are formed and influenced by many things, including environment, associates, values, principles, and daily habits. Until those areas experience lasting change, transformation is not achieved.


Here are some more examples of a goal versus actual desire:


"I have a goal to lose 20 pounds" vs. "I aspire to be a person who routinely exercises and makes positive nutritional choices."


"I have a goal to save $1,000 emergency fund" vs. "I aspire to be a person that is fiscally responsible, has no debt, and has financial freedom."


"I have a goal to get organized" vs. "I aspire to be a person that routinely uses systems to operate efficiently and effectively in my daily life."


"I have a goal to live life to the fullest." vs. "I aspire to be a person that pre-plans and schedules more meaningful experiences with my friends and family while remaining effective in my professional life."


"I have a goal to read one challenging book a month" vs. "I aspire to be a person constantly learning new skills and who values self-education."


"I have a goal to get an A in this class" vs. "I aspire to be a person with positive study habits, who completes assigned work, gets proper sleep, and intentionally structures my day around academic success."


Saving enough money to purchase something one time does not necessarily make someone fiscally responsible. It was goal-oriented and not identity-oriented.

Ask anyone with a wedding or class reunion in their future if being able to lose 20 pounds means they are consistently living a healthy lifestyle.


Goals are a tool that can be used situationally for positive outcomes, but to achieve transformational change we must redefine who we are.


So how does that work? Transformational change of identity occurs in the mind before it ever manifests in reality regardless of the desired end state (health, finances, spirituality, education). I feel strongly there are two types of people in the world: massive action people and gradual change people.


The vast majority of people fall in the gradual change category. Small incremental change over time equates to an identity transformation. This is the power of Dr. BJ Fogg's "Tiny Habits" approach. Using behavior design and habit formation, the lion's share of people that attain a shift in identity build momentum by the tiniest of changes over time that compound into tangible results. The "1% better every day" approach.


There are two caveats to this approach. One, the person must feel successful throughout the process as they build momentum. Two, it must be an area the person actually wants to change in. No amount of behavior design can overcome a deep-rooted disdain for the habit attempting to be formed.


The other group, the massive action group, only comprises a very small percentage of the general population. I have no documented numbers on this, but in my own experience, I estimate this to be less than 5% of the population. Massive action people are generally used to, or find comfort in, extreme structures. Think professional athletes, military and law enforcement personnel, and even within those communities think specialized units and/or high achievers.


This group can implement a massive transformational identity shift by sheer mental fortitude. Once the plan is developed, they can simply execute the plan repeatedly through sheer discipline that ultimately morphs into the mental toughness needed for sustainable change.


As mentioned above, change occurs in the mind before it manifests physically (regardless of what kind of change one seeks). For this group, hands down the most effective way to rewire their brain is Andy Frisella's "75 Hard/Live Hard" program. This program is completely free and incredibly effective. That said, it's not for everyone… Many have "tried it,” few have completed it and created transformational change. The advantage is, those who have got there quickly.


As round two of your 2025 twelve-round adventure kicks off, examine what areas you're truly seeking transformational change in. Acknowledge that goals may play a part in building momentum for your desired end state, but lasting change will simply not occur until you transform the essence of your identity into the day-to-day person you seek to be.


It will never be perfect, and we're all human. It's the aggregate change we should seek, not a quantified benchmark.


As I close this edition out, I want to apologize for the delay between the last edition and this one. If you've been following along, you know we've been dealing with a little "life" on this end. I'm happy to say my wife's surgery went well and she is recovering and in good spirits here in the fabulous Las Vegas valley. We truly appreciate all of the well-wishes that came in.


Good luck in your 2025 endeavors; there is no shortcut, life hack, pill, medication, or quick fix to all the things you desire. You simply must develop your plan, execute it, and focus on shifting yourself into the physical manifestation of the person you envision you can be. You can do this incrementally over time with great success. If you happen to be an extreme Type A high-achiever, you can even "will" yourself there faster through mental toughness. At the end of the day, both paths require you to do the work and make the journey.

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